I am in a vortex of obligation.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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