how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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