I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize