oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
