I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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