would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
