dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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