I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
