Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm always down for nudity.
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