We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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