a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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