I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sorry about my life...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
