This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we're making bets on your personal life
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
