No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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