The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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