she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Randomize
