His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Randomize
