as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
