This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize