so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
