I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize