The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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