She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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