Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
