But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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