hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
