How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
did i just pee glitter
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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