New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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