Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
