If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
