Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
