But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
