If that was your dad, he is hot
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
