Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
