fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
