also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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