Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
