Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize