its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
