i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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