did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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