Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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