We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize