She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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