Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
