Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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