I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
