My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
