my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sext me about skeletons
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
