My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
