I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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