I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
and you fell through a lawn chair
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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