And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I would fuck him just for his dog
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
