I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
