if you like me you must not know who I am
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
