drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
