I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
