I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize