I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
