Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
