"it" just moved
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
