FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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