Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
