I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
BRING THE BAGELS
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
God I need to hump something, right now.
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