It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
