Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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