Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
