also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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