would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Sober January is a disaster.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
