Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Your penis caused this!
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