She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
